Have I Got Cake News For You: Issue 1

Wow, I've just come back out from under that rock over there and things look mighty different! Sorry for my long silence - you know the drill, if it's not cake it's the baby consuming me. I literally have to claw back minutes from the sleep thieving, time hoovering, mess creating, life baggage I have these days. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Babyzen Yoyo Pram

But I will ALWAYS be drawn to cake. Especially now more so as I go on umpteen mum-dates a week that invariably always involve cake and cuppa. And I will keep trying to claw some minutes to myself just to be able to keep that finger on the pulse in what's going down in cakeland. And what better way to do that than to start a series of Have I Got Cake News For You - what's happening in and around the world of cake, the weird, the wonderful, what's hot, what's not, all served with a generous side of sass.

Christian Cake Ruling

Earlier this month, a Californian judge ruled against the State of California in favour of a Californian baker, Tastries Bakery owner Cathy Miller, who refused to make a wedding cake for a same-sex couple due to her religious beliefs.

CNN Gay Wedding Cake Ruling California

Image: CNN

I suppose artistic expression being protected is a good thing, but I'm left wondering how the bakery vets all their clients before taking their orders. Is there a form of sorts that prospective customers have to fill before purchasing a cake? 

  • Name:
  • Sex: M/F
  • Sexual Orientation: Straight/LGBTQ 
  • Living in Sin: Y/N
  • Coveted neighbour's wife: Y/N
  • Told some porkies: Y/N
  • Jumped the queue at Starbucks: Y/N

She must be trading in utopia habitated only by the most moral and chaste of humans. House prices must be really high as no doubt the schools are great with such quality homo-sapiens. OR she's got people fibbing on those forms just to get their mitts on some cake (I'd fib for cake, but I'm Hindu so that's okay I guess.) 

Anyway, refusing to make a cake for a same-sex couple in my opinion is a pretty $hit thing to do, but instead of suing the bakery I think the best punishment would be to just keep ordering rainbow cakes from her - the brighter and bolder, the better. And willy cakes. A rainbow willy cake. OOoohh which brings me to my next newsbite!

Gaga Rainbow Cake | Order here

Vagina Cakes

Earlier this month, Nadia's Cakes, a Minnesotan bakery, posted a photo of one of their geode cakes. In case you're not aware, geode cakes are cakes decorated with crystallised sugar candy that look like gem-rock cave-like surfaces. Not my thing admittedly, but this one cake is really pretty in pink, although a few folks with impressive imaginations have likened it to looking like lady hoo-haas (I'm worried about those ladies...)


What's even funnier than the reaction are the bakery's responses - SO MUCH SASS! Click through and have a good old fashioned chuckle. 

Birthday Cake Ice Cream

If you know me, you'll know I'm an ice-cream fiend. I think that's pretty characteristic of people growing up in the East - the Middle East, the Far East, the South East, you get what I'm saying. It's the heat mannnn. But I'm not even sure it's the heat per se because I eat ice cream in the coldest of winters too (it melts less! Duh!). So imagine my excitement when Ben & Jerry's released their BIRTHDAY CAKE flavour this MONTH! OH EM GEEEZZZZ GTFO of my way to the freezer aisle!

Ben & Jerry's Birthday Cake

They released their Birthday Cake flavour in celebration of Ben & Jerry's big 40th birthday - vanilla cake batter ice cream, pink frosting, strawberry swirls and chunky cake pieces. Nommerz.

Happy Birthday, Mr President 

And last but not the least, our favourite super model Kate Moss, jumped out of a cake, a la Marilyn Monroe, for her pal's birthday celebrated in a swank bar in London - MNKY HSE. Don't worry, no real cakes were harmed in the making of this stunt, just a cardboard cake. Which is as expected cuz being a supermodel requires a careful and considered diet, one preferably high in fibre, and cardboard cakes are full of fibre.

Kate Moss Jumping out of cake - photo Dave Bennett

Image: David Bennett/Getty/CIROC

That's it for now folks! Let me know what's tickled your cakebuds.

Lots of love,

Reshmi xoxo

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