You know what tastes good? Cake. You know what tastes even better than cake? FREE CAKE!
We get spammed left, right and centre senseless with free cake requests and discounts etc ranging from the innocent and harmless, example for charities (which while we cannot say yes to all the time I do think if the cause resonates with us and we can budget for it then we will!) to laugh-out-loud silly and unbelievably entitled from large brands and "celebrities".
As the requests get bolder and more ridiculous I've started sharing some of them on our Instagram to which I've been getting an immense response - fellow bakers and various small business owners ranging from photographers, musicians, designers, and hair and make-up artists, to even members of the general public who are completely surprised that this practice even goes ON.
So I thought I'd start a compilation of my most ridiculous enquiries. Some of them to which I have responded to as well...jussstttt for giggles.
1. Celebrity Birthday Cake! For a MEGA STAR.
So mega that they can't buy a cake with cash. We passed on this. Duh. But I cried buckets when I saw someone actually created a beautiful two-tiered Unicorn birthday cake for this event gratis. I cried because I missed out on such mega exposure bucks. I'm kidding. I cried because when celebs can't afford cakes, we know we're properly heading into austerity...
2. Emoji Cake for Hot Shot Guests
You'll be pleased to know I did respond to this.
Your email upset me, even if you did not intend for it to.
It upset me because I too have expensive tastes and I could never go to Alexander McQueen for a handbag I really want but couldn't afford, and ask for it free or discounted, in exchange of a thank you of potentially carrying it in front of my VIP friends, ones with extremely deep pockets and similar expensive tastes. I can't be anything but blunt but that is how I have translated your request.
I hope you can see my point of view. In any case we are fully booked for your date.
She seemed nice-ish enough in her enquiry, if a bit guilt trippy, but probably had no idea how such emails comes across to the other side. Hope she does now!
3. X-Factor Loser Birthday
I repeat...I'm NOT PEGGY. Oh dear...if you're going to blag a freebie, at least get the addressee right. I don't even know who won the X-Factor, let alone lost. Also, dare I ask which illustrious press will be covering this prestigious event?? Oh wait...none.
4. Non-Exposure Bucks
You heard me...non-exposure bucks. JUST to tempt slebs in their dressing gowns. Besides, aren't most slebs petrified of gluten, sugar, anything that remotely bloats before any public appearance?? This sounds like intentional torture to me.
5. Free Advertising at Weddings