No I'm not talking about using bad eggs as ingredients - we use fresh free range British eggs in our cakes and absolutely everything else. What I am talking about is that rare bad egg customer, not cake, that slips through all the nice lovely ones.
In the lead up to the imminent arrival of our little human baby, I am finding things a bit more difficult than usual, being heavier and slower on my feet which generally puff up to little water balloon-like trotters at the end of a long day on them. So this past Friday was exceptionally difficult, especially with the recent warm weather - if only baking in the buff was acceptable! In the midst of the busy caking and baking session, akin to a Bikram yoga class, I had an absolutely horrific customer experience where he rang and swore down the phone with every other word being the f-word because he did not want to accept the terms and conditions of our delivery service. I was so offended I wanted to cancel his order and asked for his order number to do so and he gave me a false one and hung up quickly. I sent out the delivery anyway and thought hah, the biggest victory is that I have his cash and I'm going to go for a relaxing foot massage with his money instead. THEN I see this review on google yesterday. FML! Responding took 30 secs tops and felt even better than the foot massage hah.
It was extraordinarily heart-warming to see such an overwhelming response of support from my followers, both old and new, peers, colleagues and loyal customers. But rather astonishingly, it also triggered another bad egg review, immediately after the charmer's...
This strange sense of entitlement that bubbles under this rare breed of customer is baffling, yet sadly rife - the ones who use online review sites for their equivalent of revenge porn dressed up as highly esteemed and embellished critique in a bid to help humankind from the evils of cake makers, all for not having got their way or their money back and, wait for it, compensation for causing such emotional distress after having eaten said cake. There are tell-tale signs sometimes - eg: swearing on the phone, and/or throwing toys out of the pram about terms and conditions, and haggling, but not always. I do know cake makers aren't the only ones suffering from bad eggs...I wouldn't wish the same on those Made of Dough pizza guys who've just opened a new gaff on Bell-end-en Road (oh please allow me this one! Jay Rayner got away with this gag about the road's name) - Tripadvisor/Yelp/Google...they can be real harsh places on the internet for small businesses.
Lucky for me, I'm hard as nails after all that #bloggerblackmail nonsense but I won't lie that I love seeing the odd dodgy negative review online, even if I do take some seedy pleasure in responding to them fuelled by preggo-hormones. So dear friends and followers who have been loyal customers too, if you've loved us please show us a little warmth by popping a little review on our Google page to help us stick it to the trolls who creep out from the depths of internet hell every now and again. I promise it will soothe my achey heart and will make me feel a lot better than a thousand foot massages!
Lots of love,